From the article: Conflict in Relationships - The Toll of Relationship Conflict
Ever wonder how to deal with difficult people? Or do you know from experience, trial and error? Relationship conflicts cause significant stress, and the difficult people in our lives seem to create lots of it. Dealing with difficult people the wrong way can exacerbate the conflict, but the right approach can stave off stress. What difficult behavior have you faced? Have you handled it successfully? Share Your Experiences!
We Behave According to Past Expiernce
- What YOU think of me is none of MY business. We all see the world through different colored glasses
- —Guest Lucille
Unrealistic Expectations
- I am married to a Greek man and had been battling with a lot of intrusion from his parents, particularly from his self-centered father who must get what he wants whenever he wants it. He used to have long telephone conversations lasting between 4 to 6 hours a week. He always presents all his personal problems as a top priority to others. In the past, a 10 day holiday to Greece would mean 8 days helping him in his business and the other two days listening to him philosophising about how corrupted other competitors are or what other people have done wrong. Mother in law is exactly the same. A know-it-all expert in all aspects of life. Of course any foreigners would be put in their place and face the cultural pressure of the entire tribe. What drives me to deal with such heavy pressures is my love for my husband. Instead of celebrating this special relationship, it is weathered by the pressures of certain societies.I am not blaming anyone, I am just short of armoury to fight this battle.
- —Guest hellena
Difficuilt person
- Have a school teacher friend that's been single for 21 years and will probably be the rest of her life. She always tells me and everybody else how educated she and her family is, but terrible street smart. I can't get in a conversation without her correcting me on my grammar like I was one of her kids. I have sat in her class and she isn't a very good teacher and her teacher friends are always talking about how she makes a fool out of herself in her actions as she primps around the halls. As a friend I try to point things out to her and tell her what people are saying, but she can't see it or want to hear about it. It's sad that she doesn't have too many friends, because she doesn't let people get to close and she's hard to figure out. It's sad, because she does have a good heart.
- —Guest James
My Best Friend
- My best friend always likes to be right. Even when it's apparent that she's wrong, she still finds some crazy way to be right although, she goes to some epic proportion to prove me or another person wrong. One time she called me psycho and days later, she admits that she is a psychopathic obsessive procrastinator who believes she is the best and people are out to get her.
- —Guest Lalalali
Dealing with Difficult People
- I only speak for myself. I served in the army (watched to many friends die). Got home and they handed my discharge papers, then sent my on my way. Was home a year and then I was told I had spinal cancer. Dr's say we can't treat the cancer because it's in my spine, but we will try to treat the pain. Well, they can't. Every day somthing new went wrong. BUT before you say somthing about some else, WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES.
- —Guest RJ
Dealing with adifficult person
- The word difficult is relative. Everybody at one time or the other is difficult to deal with, espeacially when it comes to getting what we want out of somebody. Now your perception of the other person will suggest to you the stand to take in order to achieve what you want to get. This stand is what we considered difficult. In dealing with a perceived difficult person, remember this: His attempt is to shift you from who you are to who he wants you to be. In that way he will be able to get what he wants from you. So first thing to do is BE YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES. Secondly be firm in whatever decision you have taken and do not reverse it unless it is a wrong decision. Do not dis-respect the other party and make it clear by your stand and decision that you too deserve respect. Speak less and make sure you give your words a thought before you speak them. Lastly, do not fall easily to his or her demands to share his or her action with others.
- —Guest Victorysong
People at Work
- Have a guy at work that is borderline sociopath. Always talking behind my back and other people's. He has a bit of a temper also, and I can't seem to get away from the back-stabbing. What is the best way to deal with this?
- —Guest roger
Difficult People and How to Deal
- I find that "difficult" people are trying to get something out of being difficult. Providing a (limited) listening ear is always a good start. Then also, I try to be straight forward with them and let them KNOW when they're being difficult and how it makes ME feel. Sometimes that helps. They often care (unless that person is a sociopath!).
- —Guest LM
How to Heal Yourself
- I find it very helpful when I get bombarded with all kinds of unpleasant issues from the outside, to sit down and paint. It enlivens me and I feel loved.
- —Guest Rita Malsch
Southern Lady
- I have a Yankee mother-in-law who can be overbearing, rude, brusque, demanding, and loud. She is a know-it-all. I have loved her for 36 years, but I never respond to her tirades. I was raised to not talk back to my elders, and I treat her with respect, no matter what she says to me. It is difficult for me, but southerners, especially ladies, are taught to respect our elders, and I 'bite my tongue' when she behaves inappropriately. I find my life is easier if I do not respond.
- —Guest daughter-in-law
Neighbor
- I live in a small condo complex with an extremely bossy, loud , "out to get you" type person. She has loudly told me that I'm not the right religon, my son isn't real because he's adopted and so on. One neighbor told me for whatever reason she's decided she doesn't like me. No one knows why. Once in awhile she'll speak to me appropriately but generally not. I just try to ignor her. Suggestions ? Thank you.
- —Guest Jo
I'm a Difficult Person.
- Once I was old enough to have some insight into my history of behavior in various circumstances, I began to see patterns that others must have already known about. I am slightly self-righteous, sometimes too critical, always emphatic in my opinions.....but extremely forgiving of difficult behavior in others. I think the ability to deal with difficult people can be in direct correlation to how honest one is about ones own shortcomings. Maybe as a result, I have become the person to grab at the office when an employee or customer is heading for a meltdown or explosion. I have learned that if I can get someone to laugh, we will have instant rapport, no matter what the friction was that started the fire. I never engage in debate, I always agree with whatever the other person is screaming/yelling/spitting out, until it's all over and we can discuss it calmly. On the other hand, in difficult personal relationships, I find avoidance and denial are two of my favorite tools for coping.
- —rainywoman
MY DAUGHTER
- Many have been in your situation including myself. Get a Trust, not a will and leave "ALL" to a charity. Mine is going to St Jude hospital for children. It's best to have a professional take care of you... It's partly our own fault we spoiled them or perhaps they are just plain selfish!
- —Guest bruna di bedonia
My sister
- I have got a sister. She is the only closest relative left. She is a know-it-all that concerns me. She often hurts my feelings. I've tried to forgive her and understand her attitude towards me. I don't consider her as a difficult person, simply we are different people so let another person be another one.
- —Guest cora
Being Patient
- My mom and my husband are really difficult people. They always think they are right. When they start to argue, the only thing I do is be patient, listen them and wait a few minutes to say something, but I speak very patiently and never speak loud.
- —Guest magnolaim22
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