Stress Management Blog

I frequently get questions from readers, and sometimes I add them to the FAQs section. Here's the latest:

"Sometimes when I have conflicts with people in my life, I find myself replaying conversations in my mind, thinking about what was said and what I’d like to say, imagining hypothetical situations in my head, talking to friends about it over and over and generally making myself miserable. Is this ultimately helpful, and if not, how can I stop?"

Read About How To Clear Your Mind

Read More Frequently Asked Questions About Stress

Do you find yourself creating the life you want, or are you overwhelmed by constant setbacks? Would you like to find more success and better health just by changing your outlook? The topic of optimism is one of my favorites (in fact, I recently spoke with Carl Lanore from Super Human Radio on the benefits of optimism, and you can listen to the show here). Studies show that optimists don't just notice the good in life, they actually create better circumstances for themselves with their positive outlook! You may be surprised, however, by the differences between optimists and pessimists--you could be a pessimist and not even realize it! The following resources can help you to better understand the differences between optimists and pessimists, see where you fall on the continuum, and find resources for leading a more optimistic life. Enjoy!

• Learn How Positive Energy Can Help You Find Time In Your Day

• Discover the Benefits of Optimism

• Take The Quiz: Are You An Optimist? You May Be Surprised

Have you heard of Twitter yet? It's a site that's growing in popularity as a new way for people to stay connected. The idea is that people write tiny blog-type posts that answer the question 'What Are You Doing Right Now?' When I first heard about this, I thought, "Why? We have blogs, cell phones, and social networking sites like MySpace and LinkedIn. Wouldn't this just create more noise and suck more time?"

Well, actually, there are advantages to Twitter. So far, I've discovered that Twitter can help relieve stress in the following ways:

• Stay Connected: The obvious benefit to Twitter is that it helps you to stay connected with people, but it may do so in ways you don't expect. People may mention that they are reading a certain book that may be helpful to you. People may mention that they're about to go exercise or meditate, and it could remind you to get involved in a stress relief activity, too. Things people say can make you laugh, and find the humor in your own situation.
• Take A Quick Break: One problem with online stress relief tools like Weboggle, is that they can be addictive, and suck away your time before you even realize how much of your schedule has disappeared. With Twitter, it takes a few seconds to 'tweet' (create a post), or you can spend a few minutes seeing what everyone else is up to, and then you've had a little break and can get back to work with a fresh frame of mind.
• Get Stress Tips: If you 'follow' me on Twitter, you can get links to my latest blog posts, which report new research on stress and provide a steady stream of stress relief tools you can use. I'll also provide stress tips you may not find anywhere else. It's a new way to stay up-to-date.

Since I just signed up a few hours ago, I'm sure I'll be discovering new ways that Twitter can work as a stress reliever, and you can discover them with me. If you want to follow me, go to my page, which is http://twitter.com/ElizabethScott, and see how you like it.

What's your opinion on Twitter? Post a comment, or contribute to the Twitter thread in the Stress Management Forum.

_{Photo from iStockphoto.com}

Adrenaline junkies aren't just bank robbers and sky divers--many people subconsciously create stress in their lives to enjoy the adrenaline rush that accompanies the body's stress response. Learn more about the traits of everyday adrenaline junkies so you can see if you may be causing yourself unnecessary stress, and learn what you can do to keep it from damaging your health.

Learn More About Adrenaline, or

Take The Adrenaline Quiz To See If Your Relationship With Stress May Be Unhealthy

Do you find yourself stewing over stresses and conflicts that happen in your life? Have you ever been so upset by a conflict in a relationship or stressor from work that you feel consumed by it, thinking about it more often than you'd care to admit? Here are some resources that address this type of thinking, known as rumination, head-on. Find out how common rumination is, how it affects you, and how to let go of stress and anger and live in the present!

How Rumination Affects Your Life
When your mind just won't let go of a stressful situation, it prolongs your experience of stress and robs you of pleasure in the present moment. And that's not all! Learn about the various ways rumination affects you physically and emotionally.

Tips for Letting Go of Stress and Anger
Ready to let go of anger and stress, but aren't sure how? Here are some proven techniques that can ease you through the process.

There's an old adage that it's more important to want what you have than to have what you want. I love that phrase, and think of it often, as I see people experience stress over not having what they want. I've also sometimes wondered if the truth behind the adage could hold up to scientific scrutiny.

Apparently, psychologist Jeff Larsen from Texas Tech University and Amie McKibban of Wichita State University wondered the same thing, and set out to test the theory! They studied college students and their attitudes toward one major possession: their cars. Students with cars were asked to rate how much they wanted the car they had; students without cars rated how much they wanted the car they didn't have.

The results, published in the April issue of Psychological Science, prove what we all know: that people can become accustomed to what they have, appreciate their possessions less as the novelty wears off, and therefore derive less happiness from their possessions as time goes by. However, they also found that it's possible to continue to want the things you have, and that doing so can, in fact, bring greater happiness! In short, they proved that happiness is both wanting what you have and having what you want.

"Simply having a bunch of things is not the key to happiness," Larsen said in a prepared statement. "Our data show that you also need to appreciate those things you have. It’s also important to keep your desire for things you don’t own in check."

So how does one maintain an attitude of gratitude for possessions already owned? In my experience, maintaining a gratitude journal is key. If you write down what you're grateful for at the end of the day, you get into the habit of noticing what you appreciate and why, strengthening your appreciation for what you have in your daily life. It also takes the focus away from things you want but don't yet have. If you don't keep a journal, there are other ways of developing an attitude of gratitude, which is so important for happiness and stress relief.

Also, let's not forget the other finding in this research: while happiness is connected with wanting what you have, having what you want factors in as well, so don't give up on your goal-setting! Going after a goal (with the right attitude) can be exciting, and achieving what you want has its own obvious rewards. Here are some effective goal setting tips to help you find happiness, get what you want, and do so with less stress.

More Articles on Happiness and Gratitude:

• Cultivating Gratitude
• Quiz: How Happy Are You?
• How To Be Happy

Elaborate on your answer to the poll: post in the forum!

_{Source:
Larsen JT, McKibban AR. Is happiness having what you want, wanting what you have, or both? Psychological Science April, 2008.}

As I've mentioned before, stress and anger are closely related, so if you're feeling stressed much of the time, you may also be dealing with anger more often than you'd like. While anger is a normal and even healthy emotion, poorly handled anger can cause problems in your health, relationships and overall wellbeing.

The common view on anger is that if you're wondering whether or not you need a better way to handle your anger, you probably do! The following anger managment resources can help you develop healthier anger managment strategies.

Anger Managment Resources:

Anger Management Tips

More on Dealing With Anger

Quiz: Are You 'Type A'?

What makes you angry? Write about it in the stress management forum, or add a comment to this blog.

With summer approaching, now is the time that many people are planning their vacations. Whether you're planning a trip with the kids, visiting family, going solo, or are unable to take a vacation this year, I have resources for you.

Why We Need Vacations
Feel like an annual vacation is a luxury that you can't afford? Here's why vacations are not only fun, but necessary!

How To Reduce The Stress of Travel With Kids
Whether you're trying to coax an antsy toddler to stay sitting (and quiet!), answering the endlessly asked question, "How much longer now?," or desperately trying to avoid being the parents with the screaming baby, travel with kids can be stressful! Luckily, these steps can greatly cut down on your travel stress so you can really enjoy your trip.

Quick and Cheap Vacations
If you can't take days off of work and go somewhere exotic, here are some ideas you can do in a weekend, and feel like you really had a break!

The workplace is one of the leading causes of stress. Many people battle frustration and burnout regularly. If you're stressed at your job, this blog is for you! Learn to relax more at work so your productivity can go up as your stress level goes down. (If you need to vent or get more ideas, I've created brand-new folders in the forum, so you can make it your own.)

How to Deal with Stress At Work
Because stress at work is so common, finding a low-stress job may be difficult or impossible for many people. A more realistic choice would be to simple adopt more effective strategies to reduce stress at work. Here are some stress management techniques to try.

Quiz: Are You At Risk for Burnout?
Is your job putting you under excessive levels of stress? Our work lives take up much of our waking hours, and affect us greatly. This quiz is designed to analyze features of your job that may put you at a greater risk of burnout, and assess your emotional state and feelings about your job, to let you know more about your burnout risk. Assess your situation, and find resources for combating burnout.

Find Satisfaction At Your Current Job

Before you try to switch jobs, try these techniques for finding things to love about the job you have, and nurturing yourself in a job that leaves a bit to be desired.

Happy Earth Day, everyone! While it's nice to have one day during the year that we all stop and focus on making an effort to preserve our environment and save our planet from the negative effects of climate change

There are a few ways that you can relieve stress while helping the environment at the same time. Here are top tips:

Simplify
Streamlining your lifestyle by getting rid of junk mail is a great way to cut down on paper clutter (a real stress-creator), and help save trees. Read this article for other ways to simplify life.

Help Others
Clean out your closets and donate what you don't need. You'll get rid of more clutter (and actually feel like you have more, because you can find what you want), you'll benefit from feelings of altruism, and you'll get your belongings reused, which is one of the big three recommendations for a greener world.

Plant a Garden
There are some wonderful stress management benefits to gardening, and you can enjoy them while you make your yard more beautiful and help clean up the air.

Take a Walk
If you try to walk more and use your car less, you can save gas (which would benefit the planet and your budget!), and provide you with the stress relief benefits of exercise.

What are your favorite ways to stay green? (Post in the comments, or visit the newly reorganized and re-optimized Stress Management Forum.)

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