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Readers Respond: Moms: What Are Your Main Causes of Stress?

Responses: 70

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Updated January 14, 2012

Moms experience perhaps more stress than the average person, as they wear so many 'hats' and have so many diverse responsibilities these days. Moms have a wonderful job, but their job can be a very stressful and demanding one, too. If you're a mom under stress, we'd like to hear about your experience: what stresses you the most? What do you do to manage that stress? What are you reluctant to tell people about a mom's experience of stress? We know you love your children, but what stresses you the most about the role of 'mom'?

Stressed Mom

Hi I find myself very stressed out because of my 2 kids not listening or they have sibling fights, it gets frustrating, or problems at school. And I find myself yelling all the time, and that's not me as a person. I've always been a calm person. I need to know what I can do to be more patient and a lot more relaxed. I don't like this stressed feeling. Please help!
—Guest Sharon

Never Good Enough

I'm a newly divorced mom of two, and I'm struggling to handle everything on my own. I yell too much and stress about money, my job, and just about everything. I can't sleep through the night because I wake up worrying about money, time, parenting, my job, etc. I get up, rush to two different schools for my kids, work all day with other people's kids, and then run to two different schools to get my kids. I'm exhausted, my house is a mess, I yell too much, and I lose my temper easily. I never seem to get organized enough to manage everything. When I get the house in control, my work, my kids, or my yard is a mess. My family lives over 2000 miles away, and I don't have anyone to give me a break. I just feel overwhelmed.
—Guest help!

Parenting Bliss or Blues

Being a parent for 3 years, there are so many lessons i will give to my kids. I know now that it is necessary to have financial stability and get good health insurance before the first baby comes. Also, no 2nd baby is necessary to mingle with the fun because once baby number 2 comes, there will be less fun to do with both or either kids. It is a must to screen the future husband or mate of their commitment. They need to know that they are required to grow in their career and understand that once they get home, they must pitch in with baby care and chores. Also, it is a must to have a time to nurture your mind and soul, so keep educated with anything that interest you and do take care of your body. Marry into an extended family that respect you. Stay close because they will be good means for help. Understand that it is necessary for one parent to stay home to raise the kids before they start school, so definitely be able to live in one income with savings.
—Guest diane

College As a Mom?

I am a mom of three boys ages from two to nine, I am also pregent. I am currently a stay at home mom and student; my husband is a oil worker, so hes gone offten. This is my second year in college and I am getting to the point where I feel very overwhelmed with school work and my famlies duties. I am currently trying to reduce stressors in my life and the only thing that I can find to eliminate is college but I have worked so hard yet; it is the major stressor in my life. What to do?
—Guest Kymm

Tired of Yelling

Jenn, don't worry, you're doing a great job! My boys are 14 months apart- trust me it gets better. Yes, you MUST pick your battles. A close girlfriend told me this: "Do as you mean to go on." In other words, if it's something that willl be a long-term battle, then stake your ground and be strong. If its a temper tantrum over silly stuff (although we may be at our wits' end!!) let it go! I give my kids choices - very limited ones, mind you! - but for 1 of my boys it works, as he is very head strong. Hang in there. Trust me, it gets easier.
—Guest clair

Not Alone!

I am a young, single, working, full-time mom of two who commutes daily to work. The days are long and very precisley scheduled. There are days where I can hardly blink, let alone have time for myself; especially given the fact that munchkins need to get ready (and so do I) and then they need to be dropped off to the babysitter's, lunches packed, then getting to work on time (amidst traffic), getting work done on time to make it back to the babysitters, make dinner, send kid(s) to (30-60 min) sporting events, get kids ready for bed & homework done, & FINALLY bed! Then it's time to do it all over again. There is literally no down time or time to organize the house except on weekends (if that, because you're always playing catch-up). It is very overwhelming. At this point, I am looking for a break to just be able to breathe for a change. How do you ladies cope with your daily stressors when you are strapped for time?
—Guest Shauna

He stresses me!

I am 28 and my husband and I are having our third child in 6 mos. I work full time and always have. My husband stays home with the girls and is supposed to be going to school full time but he dropped all his classes this semester so he is at home all day playing computer games. I have been askin for months for help with household chores but he says his school is his "job". Now that he has no classes he says he's "stuck with the girls all day, he shouldnt have to." I am fed up! I cook dinner every night and clean every chance I get. I've been so sick being pregnant but still working and he will leave everything a mess without helping. He also smokes pot all day long and plays the computer a min of 10 hrs a day! Money is so tight now and I need his help. I try talking about it with him but he has an excuse for everything and turns it around so I'm the lazy b--ch. He is 31. I wish he would find a job, lift a finger and be a man! Not a third child for me to pick up after! So pissed!
—Guest Mandyjo

Single mom blues

I am a 29 year old single mother with a 3 year old daughter. All day long my daughter screams and cries for no reason and has to be under me 24/7. I love her to death but I'm unemployed and still trying to put food on the table and keep clothes on our backs. All I ever wanted was one hour or even a few minutes to relax and hear myself think. When my daugther gets angry its normally beacuse she can't get what she wants, not knowing I that I don't have any extra money for candy or toys. We can be in the middle of a store or crowd and she will completely act out by throwing herself on the ground, screaming and kicking at me. I try to get her out of there fast, and this turns into an everyday event. I spend my nights crying when she finally does go to sleep. I don't know if I can do this anymore!!! Am trying my best to be a good mom but am completely alone with no family or friends and just getting out of an abusive relationship with her father. I don't know what to do next!!!!
—Guest S. R. Cook

Single Mom Blues

Am a 29 year old single mother with a 3 year old daughter. All day long my daughter screams and cries for no reason and has to be under me 24/7, I love her to death but I'am unemployed and still trying to put food on the table and keep clothes on our backs. All I ever wanted was one hour or even a few minutes to relax and hear myself think. When my daugther gets angry its normally beacuse she can't get what she wants not knowing I that I don't have any extra money for candy or toys. We can be in the middle of a store or crowd and she will completely act out by throwing herself on the ground, screaming and kicking at me. I try to get her out of there fast, and this turns into an everyday event. I spend my nights crying when she finally does go to sleep, I don't know if I can do this anymore!!! Am trying my best to be a good mom but am completely alone with no family or friends and just getting out of an abusive relationship with her father. I don't know what to do next!!!!
—Guest Tina

Single SAHM of 3 Under 3

I'm a divorced mom of 2.5yr old twins & an 11month old. I have no job and the child support barely pays for the house & car payments! I've applied for every job from a grocery store sacker to a corporate office receptionist & NOTHING is opening up! I'm leaning on my mom for some support, but she is the sole bread winner in her household cause my dad doesn't work. UGH! I don't need a hand-out, what I need is a JOB! I am able & willing to work just about any job, but I guess when people find out you have small children, they dont wanna hire you because they know your family will ALWAYS be first!
—Guest aprlyn81@yahoo.com

Trouble With My 9 Year Old Son

I'm so stressed out that I want to run away from my home, since my son started to walk. I'm having problems with him . He got kicked out of Daycare because he is bullying younger kids . I'm having him tested for ADHD and this is a long process . He is angry all the time . What do a do ? I went and got me some pills for depression. :(
—Guest lila

I'm Going Insane

I am a mother of two a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I sometimes feel like running away. My kids have a mess in our home. 99.9 percent of the time my husband doesn't help. I do nothing but cook, clean, and clean again. I have no time to myself, not even enough to take a shower. The kids don't listen to me and I can scream my head out all day with them and nothing helps. I just started to detest my husband because of the fact that I feel like im carrying another child with me. He doesn't help all he does is drink with his friends and get home to sleep. I don't go out at all and I'm literally going crazy. I cry sometimes and just feel like leaving. I love my kids but I need to take a break. I'm only 23 years old and I feel like this is too much for me. I've gained weight from emotional eating and I feel so depressed sometimes. I also have no friends.
—Guest Bridget

So Stressed

My oldest, 8 year old boy, has ADD and can be oppositional too. My youngest, 5 year old boy, has a DD and had heart reconstructive surgery at birth, and I work 40 hours a week night shift. Our life is a constant stressor with my oldest son's behavior and our youngest son's health. I have gained 15 pounds in the past year from the stress. My husband helps out, but I feel we are ships passing in the night. We never have time together, and on my days off I feel exhausted. I am sick of woking nights. I am sick of my older son's constant yelling and screaming. I am sick of the fact no one else will babysit. We are all at our wits end.
—Guest Kam

Stress

Thank you for sharing. Insightful. I'm a married 22 year old, with a 2 year boy. Since marriage and motherhood, I feel like the worst version of me. I have a very stressful but loving relationship with my husband. I work part time in nursing school. I have to study a lot. Tantrums are unbearable. I'm very goal oriented. I give my son a ton of attention, but when I need to accomplish a household task, I NEED to get it DONE! When it's time to hang the laundry or water the garden, even if we just cuddled for 30 minutes, he is running after me, hanging on me, screaming, crying, yells "HOLD YOU!!" wailing like a dying animal. He gets mad at me and throws himself/bangs his head on the floor. I feel guilty losing my temper. I think I never should have had kids and I shouldn't have any more. Sometimes I yell at him inappropriately during his tantrums, I feel even worse because I'm damaging him, but I dont know how to manage the acute stress.
—Guest eago

We are women, and we are strong!

I am a 23 yr old Mom. I have a full time job, a wonderful Fiancee, and one very lazy and overweight future mother in law who lives with us. I do everything. And when I say everything, I mean all of it. For two very long years his mom has lived with us, and for those long 2 years she has not once offered to help clean or buy groceries. She doesn't work bc she uses her depression as an excuse to be on disability along with being bi-polar. She is always in our business. My fiancee works hard long hours and I don't mind cleaning up after him and our daughter bc as a future wife and a mom that is my job and I love that. What I don't love is the lack of cooperation from his mom. We've had talks about it, he's asked and told her she needs to help more but she won't. It's hard bc he says she's always been that way. I can't imagine what home looked like for him growing up. But ladies, it all comes down to this: we are women, we are strong. God would not give us situations we can't handle.
—Guest stressed2max

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