From the article: Common Causes of Stress for Mothers
Moms experience perhaps more stress than the average person, as they wear so many 'hats' and have so many diverse responsibilities these days. Moms have a wonderful job, but their job can be a very stressful and demanding one, too. If you're a mom under stress, we'd like to hear about your experience: what stresses you the most? What do you do to manage that stress? What are you reluctant to tell people about a mom's experience of stress? We know you love your children, but what stresses you the most about the role of 'mom'? Share Your Stressors!
Not Enough Time in the Day
- I made the choice to be a single mother during our evacuation for Hurricane Ike. We lost everything we had to the flood. I got a 6 day a week job and rebuilt our lives from nothing. My youngest is now 2 and oldest is 7. I have no time to cook, clean or tend to their basic needs. I do ask for help when I get backed up but all in all, I feel as if I am in a whirlwind and they are going to be grown before I realize their childhood has passed me up. I am doing all I can to keep our head above water but in trying to make sure they have all they need, I am sacrificing all available time to support them. My one day off is spent cleaning and trying to catch up on the week already lost and if I take the time to go do something special with them, I feel like I am failing as a housekeeper. Life has been this way since Ike and I see no chance of being able to raise my own children (daycare and school are doing it for me). I just want to be a mom again, with the means to support us, of course.
- —Amlynjust
Help!
- My kids' dad is in the military and has been gone for the majority of the summer. My son has since lost all progress with potty training and my daughter deliberately does what I ask her not to do...constantly! I find myself wishing I had help again but when their dad gets a weekend home with us, he wants to fit in as many activities as possible, even if they don't deserve to go because of their behavior. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with the potty training and behavior since they get rewarded anyway. I always thought I had a handle on being a parent but now I wonder! I am sitting here crying trying to figure out what to do about it. I wish there was an "easy" button on their foreheads...
- —Guest Su
Circus Act
- I am a stay at home mom with two children under three. I do everything, cooking, cleaning, feedings, laundry, shopping, balancing the check book, giving the animals flea baths, going to doctor appointments, etc, etc, etc... Some times I feel like my husbands doesn't realize what all goes on in one typical day at home. He thinks that since he brings in the money I should do everything else. It stresses me out SO bad when he walks in the door and just sits down. I mean I am about to pull my hair out here. Dishes just dont get magically washed you know. It doesn't help the fact either that we haven't been out alone as a couple since about 2 months before my second child was born in november. I guess what stresses me out the most is being taken for granteed. No thank yous around here really gets under my skin. Then he wonders why I'm so stressed. I'm about to the point where if the laundry just sits there its fine with me.
- —Guest brandy
Son Going to Iraq
- I am a Cancer survivor and my son is in the Army, he is being deployed to Iraq on Wednesday for his first tour of duty. I knew this day was coming and it has never really bothered me until now. I can literally feel my insides dancing and it is causing me lots of stress. I am still undergoing chemo with a trial drug to help me stay in Remission of the cancer, and I currently have a lot of loose stools due to the stress of what is going on. I think about him all the time. I also try to get my normal househould things done and go about my day but my son is always right there popping out and pushing to the center of attention in my mind. I am actually crying as I write this out. I'm just letting the tears flow. I pray that he is safe and comes home.
- —Guest terry
"Neglecting" the Kids
- I am a single mom who homeschools her kids and who does 99% of the parenting for my family. I am self-employed and this gives me a great deal of flexibility with my schedule but it also requires a lot of work. I always stress about balancing the needs of the kids with the needs of work. It seems like I work and the kids are left feral, or I care for the kids, and we don't have money coming in. There must be a 3rd option, but I get so bleary tired, so muddled in thought that I begin to feel like I'm caught in maze created by a very sadistic designer. In reality, my day to day life is going fine. I think the biggest stress about this whole situation is thinking about it--worrying that I'm not doing the right things. The truth I must keep reminding myself is that for better or worse, this is what I'm doing and I could just relax and enjoy it. The stress of the worry is equal to or greater than the stress of the actual situation.
- —Rosesilk
Food Prep!
- Preparing food when I don't like to cook is horribly stressful. Add to that that each kid favors something different from the other. I wish I could afford to hire a chef.
- —Guest MNMom
Mornings!
- Mornings are always stressful for me. I hate mornings anyway and refuse to wake up any earlier than needed. But I never seem to have enough time. Getting the kids ready and out the door in time for school plus trying to get my gym bag ready if I'm lucky enough to get a workout in is very stressful and it's those times I find myself yelling.
- —Guest Angela
Finding the Work/Home Balance
- I work full time from home, which means I'm home full time with the kids too. It's great, I love it, but it can be totally nuts! What's worse are the comments I get about how easy it must be to work from home. It's not that easy to have a conference call while folding laundry and soothing a crying child! Plus there is that expectation that because I am home all day, the house should always be spotless, dinner on the table at 6 sharp, and I should volunteer at every school function. Trying to do it all, and do it all well, is very stressful to me. I have to work on lowering my standards!
- —AngelaP.
I'm Stressed Out!!!!
- I'm a single mom and I work full time. Most of the time when I'm stressed out its because I feel like I don't have anyone to share the responsibilities with. I have a wonderful, caring and understanding boyfriend who is willing to help in any way and I know that puts me at an advantage but still, I feel like the stress of parenthood and raising the kids is mine alone. I can handle stress pretty well generally but when I have multiple stressors to deal with at the same time (like its now the case) it becomes much more difficult. I just feel like there are too many balls to juggle and one wrong move and they all come tumbling down on me. To deal with this stress I try to exercise as much as time allows. I do try to disconnect for a few minutes each day and focus on all the things that are going well right now.
- —Guest Mahshid
The Juggling Act
- My stress is highest when many demands hit at the same time - dinner on the stove, someone at the door, and a child needing attention. If there were only two of me!
- —Guest BAB
Getting On a Schedule
- As the mom of a newborn, I can't wait to get her on a schedule. It stresses me to no end not knowing what naptime and bedtime are supposed to be. I function much better when there is a plan. Luckily, this time is short lived. I remember with my first, my stress went way down once we had a schedule going.
- —Guest Ann
Can't Take Care Of Me!
- When my children were babies, it was overwhelming when they were sick! They would need to be held more, would wake up in the night much more, and would be leaking all their bodily fluids on me, of course. I didn't mind taking care of them--they were my babies!--but it put me in a position where I was doing much more physical caretaking throughout the day, getting much less sleep at night, and fighting off many more germs; naturally, I would get sick, too, and found it much harder to get better because I couldn't rest enough! So I became much more stressed about germs than I wish I had to be. Thank goodness now, as non-babies, they can just chill during the day and sleep through the night when they get sick! That way, if I catch it too, I can get better quickly.
- —Guest CreativeCat
The "All Kids..." Remark
- I have a child with autism, so he has a lot of special needs. I find it infuriating when well-meaning people, including a lot of professionals, invalidate the difficulty by stating authoritatively that "All kids... insert whatever my kid is doing" for example, "All kids are fussy eaters," "All kids resist going to bed/having a bath," "All kids have a hard time toilet training." This is not the same thing, it's incredibly patronizing, and it often comes from people who don't really know what they're talking about!
- —Guest Mary
The Witching Hour
- The most stressful time of day is right before dinner -- hungry, tired kids/ hungry, tired mom trying to get dinner on the table in a hurry. And if my husband gets home late, then it's even worse. "Hi, honey, what's for dinner?" is NOT what I want to hear -- much better he should ask "What needs to be done?" I try to minimize the stress by organizing a week's menu in advance, but it's just a bad time of day.
- —Guest Susan
