This weekend, I had the privilege to hear Dr. Robert Leahy discuss anxiety disorders at the popular "I Can Do It! Conference", this one in San Diego. (I'll be telling you more about some of the other wonderful workshops and books I encountered there over the next month.) He discussed the origins of anxiety (yes, anxiety is a helpful tool that is sometimes still helpful today, and sometimes maladaptive in our modern world), and how to get past anxiety that's harming your life. It was a great talk, based around his latest book, 'Anxiety Free-Unravel Your Fears Before They Unravel You.'
Though I'm going to do a review of the book later this month, I'd like to tell you some of the main points that resonated with me, that I think can help you perceive anxiety differently:
- Anxiety is Inborn: Much of our anxiety levels--how prone we are to feeling anxiety--is dictated by genetics. In fact, slightly over half of our predisposition toward anxiety is genetically predetermined. The type of parenting we received generally has very little to do with it.
- Anxiety Once Kept Us Safe: Many of the things we fear--the dark, public speaking, etc.--were things that were threats to our ancestors. We have 'leftover' inborn fears relating to those things because, much like our stress response, they once served us and kept us safe. (For example, predators came out at night and couldn't be avoided as easily in the dark; as a result, my kid is naturally hard-wired to be afraid of the dark, as was I at one time.)
- Facing Your Fears Works: When anxiety is maladaptive--when it's really not serving you, and is even irrational--you can work on toning down your fears. One way that Dr. Leahy advises, which he has used often in cognitive therapy with clients who have anxiety disorders, is to purposely expose yourself to what you fear--to 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. In fact, he advises that, when dealing with sources of anxiety that really aren't dangerous (like speaking to people or getting dirty), you should try to push yourself to do what you fear every day. You will soon be much less afraid and anxious about these things--you'll be desensitized.
For more information on stress and anxiety, see the following resources from this site:
- Stress and Anxiety: Here's What Else You Need To Know
What's the difference between 'good' anxiety and 'bad' anxiety? And how can you better handle the latter? Read up, find out, and use the information in your life to stay healthier! - Anxiety Self Test
Most of us experience anxiety and worry about things at times, but at what point does it become excessive? This quick 10-question self test can help you assess your level of anxiety and tendency to worry, so you can see if you're experiencing excessive levels of stress and anxiety. (If you think you may have an anxiety disorder, this test shouldn't replace a physician's opinion, but can give you an idea of whether or not your levels of anxiety are within 'the norm'.) You'll also find important resources for dealing with anxiety and stress at the end of the quiz. Ready? (Don't worry--you'll do fine!) - Readers, Respond! What Causes You Anxiety?
With everything that can cause anxiety these days, what has you feeling anxious? What do you do to calm your own anxiety? See what other readers had to say, and add your answer to the list.
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It’s interesting that Dr. Leahy said that anxiety is inborn and not influenced by how we were parented, yet then he says we can desensitize ourselves to what causes our anxiety with exposure. Not that I don’t agree with his assessment, but did he provide any links or studies to back up his claims about the source of anxiety? Just curious!
He does talk about the research more in his book. My understanding is that he was saying that your parents don’t create a propensity toward anxiety in you–your propensity to feel anxious (or not) is more of an inborn thing. (Specifically, he says that research bears out that 0%-5% of our natural anxiety levels have been found to be ’caused’ by the type of parenting we received, barring major childhood trauma, etc.) So, from what I understand, you can help your children deal with their naturally-occurring anxiety levels by gently pushing them to gently push themselves, introducing them to new experiences while providing support, etc, but if you had a particularly anxious child, it’s probably not because you held them too much when they were a baby or sheltered them too much/didn’t shelter them enough.
Interestingly, he also says that the era in which you were born accounts for some (around 23%), and your adolescent peer group accounts for about 10%-12%. And, while your anxiety levels may be naturally inborn, there’s a lot you can do to mitigate the level of anxiety you experience now. It was really a fascinating lecture, and, I think, a very useful book.
Hope this makes things more clear, and thanks for your comment!