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Readers Respond: Best Tips On How To Deal With Difficult People

Responses: 50

By , About.com Guide

Updated November 02, 2009

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Leadership

Good enterprenuership is very, very good to attend to because it builds up intellectuals. Leaders exedue inspritional power from above.
—Guest camilus

To Be, Or Not To Be...

That is the question; we deal with difficult people every day, in our homes and at work. Underplay them at work unless you have an affinity for difficult people. If your boss is difficult, tell him/her privately that you don't appreciate how he/she talks and demeans you in front of others, let him/her know you're on to him/her. Family members are always more difficult to deal with; it's all about communication and letting the other person know you disapprove of his tactics and will not put up with it.
—Guest Maria

Difficuilt People?

Easier said than done.When it comes to politics and the person you truly liked as a friend turns every subject towards politics (even the weather becomes something to blame the prez for!)you know then it's an obsession and its time to lose her as a friend.
—Guest bruna di bedonia

"That May Be"

If I can "rise above" the difficulty being thrust upon me, and can remain calm, I find that answering any and all accusations, complaints with "That may be so and let's get back to the issues at hand" allows me to keep on track with the purpose of my conversation. I'm not agreeing, arguing, just trying to get to the conclusion, which is my goal. People like to throw the conversation off track so they can continue their rant, for their own purposes. I choose not to play.
—Guest ErnieS

Who is not Difficult?

Situations sometimes prove that one can see the other as difficult when the latter doesn't swing his way. One thing is clear here....Adamantine stands the Truth. What we see in the next person is a hundred times over buried in us! Methinks its a matter of understanding and consideration.
—Guest Kenneth

Define Difficult

As long as everything happens for a reason, dealing with someone 'difficult' means dealing with a 'difficulty' within us. The need of something inside us that seeks to be expressed. It is passion. And when we are not creatively passionate, our shadow side comes out as a 'difficulty'. So just scream, or cry, or break something into a thousand pieces...difficulty comes when something needs to be destroyed, so help annihilate it, in order for a radiant new form to come out. What you confront, is what lives inside you. When you have no urge to harm yourself, no harm will come to you, and the need to harm disappears. So be passionate and express yourself in a passionate way and help others do the same!
—Guest EVILUzzzz

Dealing with your own reactions

Dear All, Thank you for reminding me that difficult people are a fact of life. Most of your posts resonate with me...Jessica, I know exactly what you're talking about. Lilolelady, I am sorry and know how you feel too. I am into the 3rd year of a difficult seperation. I started looking at my own reactions late in the first year. I realised even when the difficult person was absent I was still hurting myself by replaying scenes in my mind. Replay hurts just as much & for longer. So I started to meditate. Within a short time I started to feel less stressed. Over time a peacefulness started to germinate which has grown with me. Bad news, the difficult person will still be there. Great news, when they go so does the hurt. I just meditate through the replay. If meditation is not for you, then any nurturing exercise will do. A walk, yoga, gym, smiling, anything that nurtures you will do it. I wish you all great happiness because you deserve it, Peter
—peternolan

In-Laws

My in-laws are a combination of loud, judgmental and nosy people. Like Sharon's MIL, mine too has the habit of telling me, 'Don't mind, but your xyz would've been better if you'd done abc'...now I just nod my head in approval, and continue to do what appeals to me. Works well for the both of us... My bro-in-law has a superiority complex which stems from a severe inferiority complex...I've learned to bite my tongue and ignore him...this gives me peace of mind and he continues to live a fool's paradise where he's still 'the best'. My FIL and husband are 'normal'...Thank God for small mercies ;-)
—Guest Cheryl

Haven't Figured It Out!!

Folks really DO get to me. Most of the worst offenders are men, but not always. It may help to try to figure out their motives, and I do try to do that, but mostly, I practice avoidance and journaling.
—tuletess

Who is Not Difficult?

A person is difficult in the eyes of the beholder. If those eyes are stressed out eyes any person seems difficult. If those eyes are relaxed most people seem amusing or enjoyable. People with different types of problems like Mental Illness, Mental Retardation, physical disorders or accidental injuries are perceived as being difficult. And because they can have a more difficult time communicating their needs or just communicating in general people see them as burdensome. My Father has a certain type of dementia. He says unacceptable things to people and many of his habits have become socially repugnant. It's very difficult to accompany him places because he is also an alcoholic. Whenever I am keeping company with him I tell myself that he cannot help what he says or does and I weigh the consequences of his actions before I take him somewhere. I make sure that we only go out for a specific amount of time (2 to 3 hours) and we go places where he can escape if he gets stressed.
—Guest tlingit

My Friend

I have a close friend whom is so rude, and believes whatever he says is right, although most of the times he talks foolishly and meaningless! This is really hard one, I think! What shall I do?!
—Guest Taha

Best tips on how to deal with people!

Human nature is very complicated and is complex. Yet it is better to be neutral, provided the other person has the same Philosophy, which is rare. Men and women respond differently to the same situation....different age groups react differently. And Sun signs too react differently, haha. So basically best is to be Philosophical at difficult situations with people whom one thinks difficult, lol.....all are equally good and equally bad and tough....so enjoy dealing with difficult people:)
—Guest Dr. Priya Neupaney

Best Tips on How to Deal with People!

Human nature is very complicated and is complex. Yet it is better to be neutral, provided the other person has the same Phylosophy, which is rare.Men and women respond differently to the same situation....different age groups react differently. And Sun signs too react differently, haha. So basically best is to be Phylosophical at difficult situations with people whom one thinks difficult,lol.....all are equally good and equally bad and tough....so enjoy dealing with difficult people:)
—Guest Dr. Priya Neupaney

Cut the Ties

We knew a nasty lady who was a liar and trouble maker to boot. We cut the ties socially and it was not enough! Our last phone call was over 17 years ago. It involved her snickering into the phone because she thought I was pregnant -- which I was. She was critical of my infant daugher at one friend's party. At another party, she screamed at me and called me a bitch in front of a whole room of people. Her husband went after my husband on Father's Day in our suburb because he believed her lies. The last time in I saw her at a mall in 1996, she banged into me. Best thing is to ignore these people and get an unlisted number. Don't go to the malls and restaurants where they can hang out and confront you. I offer all the negatives as a sin offering -- I think they call it penance. Adults do not need negative people in their lives and they don't deserve screaming and lying. I pray all the time.
—parmaoh

Hubby Dearest

My husband is a gem of person but seems to be a little of a 'know it all'. As many husbands, he doesn't listen to his wife and takes other people's wrong doings/mistakes/norms very seriously. He can't seems to see the other's point of view or reasons when it comes to opinions that don't match his. 'Blame' and him are best freinds.
—MsSibert

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