Difficult people can cause significant amounts of stress, whether they mean to or not. Because we may encounter difficult people in all areas of life--work, school, family, the neighborhood, the community--it's important to have effective strategies for handling difficult people. There are several important things to remember when dealing with difficult people that can make encounters run much more smoothly, and sometimes hearing one person's unique perspective or strategy can make all the difference. Here are more proven tips for handling difficult people, and share your own best strategies that have worked for you. Share Your Experiences!
Step Away If You Need To
- I have a friend who is going through a difficult time and often takes it out on everyone around him. I don't mind listening and being supportive, but I don't like being snapped at and at times I have to stay away from him. We can always continue our conversation later when he is calmer.
- —Guest pcs
Tips For Handling Difficult People
- I have a very difficult person in my family. She hates my guts. Since this woman has many, many personal problems that I can't fix, I took the high road......I just decided to feel sorry for her. When someone asks why she is so cold and bitchy, especially to me, I just smile gently and say, "Well, you know she had a terrible childhood, what a burden she carries each day." And I have found that I have developed a tenderness for her. I can see that she is unhappy every day of her life.
- —Guest bjhg
Handling Difficult People
- I am a naturally sensitive person, so I find it frustrating to deal with difficult people. I have a hard time understanding why they can't treat others the way they'd like to be treated--something I learned to do as a child. However, I remind myself that different people have different strengths, and not everyone's adept at taking others' needs into account. Also, people have their insecurities and weaknesses, and those challenges can make us less able to be 'user-friendly' when dealing with people. I try to believe that everyone's doing the best they can in the moment and, above all, remind myself that they're not *trying* to make my life hard. Difficult people are often people in pain or in lack. This helps me be patient, but also remember to put up boundaries.
- —Guest bum
Group Drama
- I have a great deal of empathy for others but also have pretty tough skin for criticism. I'm in the music business so I needed to develop that. I will continue to reference this article, thanks. What gets me is the front that others put up. Do they become difficult just to be? One group member in particular had confided in me his tendency to be spiteful, hypersensitive and literally blocks all efforts to keep our group running smoothly. IE: a compliment means he'll never do it /wear it again, if he's asked (voted) not to do something he will purposely do it. If we zig, he zags. He's a master with twisting his words and hiding his real motives. Sometimes I wonder if he has a mental illness (bipolar, narcissistic personality or is a sociopath!) Is it a substance abuse problem? He'll send messages written at 3 or 4 am sometimes, as if he was deeply disturbed and could not sleep! I can't avoid contact with this person, but I can separate myself from his antics.
- —Guest Guest
Don't Take It Personally
- I am a naturally sensitive person, so I find it frustrating to deal with difficult people. I have a hard time understanding why they can't treat others the way they'd like to be treated--something I learned to do as a child. However, I remind myself that different people have different strengths, and not everyone's adept at taking others' needs into account. Also, people have their insecurities and weaknesses, and those challenges can make us less able to be 'user-friendly' when dealing with people. I try to believe that everyone's doing the best they can in the moment and, above all, remind myself that they're not *trying* to make my life hard. Difficult people are often people in pain or in lack. This helps me be patient, but also remember to put up boundaries.
- —Guest Working On It
