Step Two:
Circle the names of people who you know are positive: those who support you when you’re down and genuinely share your joy when good things happen to you. As for the others, evaluate the relationship honestly to see if it’s a benefit or a detriment to you. The following questions may help:
- Is this relationship worth the amount of work required to maintain it?
- Is this a person I would choose to have in my life if we just met today? Or have I been holding onto this relationship out of habit?
- Does this person make me feel good about myself? Am I uncomfortable around them?
- Is this friend competitive with me in a negative way?
- Do I like who I am when I’m with them? Or do we seem to bring out the worst in each other?
- How deeply can I trust this person? Could I count on them if I needed to? Could I share my feelings freely?
- Do we have common interests and values? If not, do I benefit from the differences?
- Am I receiving as much as I give?
- If I gave this relationship the effort it deserves, would it benefit me and enrich my life?
After answering some of these questions, you should have a clearer picture of whether this relationship is positive or negative for you. Circle the person’s name if you believe that the relationship is positive and supportive, or if it could be, given an appropriate amount of time and energy. Otherwise, cross off the name.
