You do set boundaries when you feel pushed to do so, but
you may feel less stressed if you re-examined your comfort levels and set your
boundaries earlier. For example, you don't need to wait until you've 'had enough'
of a frustrating situation before you set or reinforce your boundaries; you can
communicate them earlier on and preempt some of the frustration. This is not
to say that you can avoid all stress and relationship conflict by communicating
boundaries right off the bat and allowing less leeway from others. It means that you
can get into the habit of closely monitoring your comfort levels and communicating
your boundaries more clearly once you begin to wonder if you should. Trust
yourself in knowing if this would be better for you, and trust that others will
comply, especially once you (and they) get into the practice of maintaining healthier
While you already appear to have boundary-setting skills, you can most likely
practice them more often and feel less stressed. Others may feel less stressed as
well, as they will know what is expected of them, and will be less likely to realize
that they have overstepped your boundaries and feel guilty. (And if they are upset
that you are setting boundaries that are healthy and necessary for your peace of
mind, perhaps they need a little distance anyway.)
The following resources can help with boundary-setting:
If you feel you need additional support with relationship health, family therapists
and counselors can be quite helpful in this regard.
Benefits of Assertiveness
Learn how assertive communication can make boundary-setting easier, and can
help in other areas of your relationships as well.
To Use Assertive Communication For Stress Relief
Assertive communication is a beautiful balance between being too passive and too
aggressive. Learn to talk to people in a way that is comfortable for them to hear, and
unmistakable to understand.
The following are additional resources and self tests that can help you relieve stress in your life:
More Personality Tests and Additional Stress Resources:
- Self Test: Is Your Lifestyle Stressing You?
A certain level of stress is inherent and necessary in a healthy lifestyle, but is the way you're living your life causing you excessive and unnecessary stress? This quiz helps you assess different areas of your life to see which minor changes can bring about a major change in your stress level. Learn to prevent stress before it happens, with this quiz!
- The Lifestyle Balance Self Test
Are you overscheduled and overstressed? This test helps you assess your lifestyle to see if you may be taking on too much, and supplies resources to help you restore a greater sense of balance in your life, creating a less stressed lifestyle.
- Quiz: Are You An Optimist?
Research shows that optimists enjoy better health, productivity, and overall life satisfaction, making an optimistic attitude a great stress reliever. However, many people believe they're optimists when they actually have a pessimistic way of seeing the world. Take this personality test to help you discover which you are, and find resources on being more of an optimist.
- Personality Test: Are You A Perfectionist?
Perfectionism sounds almost like a good thing, but this mode of thinking can actually cause you to be less productive, less happy and much more stressed than non-perfectionists (not to mention the people in your life)! Learn whether or not you're a perfectionist (or to what degree), and find resources for change by taking this personality test.
- The Job Burnout Quiz
Does your job put you at risk for burnout? Take this self test and discover how close you may be to burnout, and find resources for finding more job satisfaction and less stress at work.
- Type A Personality Test
Do you have a Type A Personality? Take the Type A Personality Quiz from About's Stress Management Site and see if type a personality characteristics may be causing more stress in your life. Also, find more information about type a personality and resources for dealing with type a personality characteristics in yourself and others.
- The Assertiveness Self Test
An assertive style of relating to others can help build strong relationships and help you get what you want in life without causing unnecessary conflict with others. Do you relate to others assertively, or do you cause unnecessary additional conflict and stress in your life with aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive styles of relating to others? Take the Assertiveness Quiz to find out!
- The Stress and Health Quiz
You may have already learned from this site or other sources that stress can affect your health in a negative way, but do you know exactly how? This quiz is designed to test your knowledge, pique your interest, and inform you on the connection between stress and your body.
- Free Online Learning: A Course in Low Stress Living
This free, ten-week e-course will help you examine the role of stress your life, and learn stress management techniques to transform your life from a source of stress to a source of joy and vitality