What Can Sabotage Social Support?

For many people (myself included), nothing beats a good supportive ear when the going gets tough. Just the act of telling a supportive friend about what's really stressing you can make problems seem more manageable, and can make you feel less alone in dealing with them. In fact, social support has been shown by numerous research studies to be a great remedy for stress, and is correlated with positive health outcomes, making it a great stress reliever.

The stress-relieving effects of social support, however, can be diminished by hostility. Recent research from Brigham Young University found that, in situations where people were discussing with a friend the negative events that caused them stress, those participants who scored high in hostility (including cynicism and mistrust) had elevated blood pressure compared to the non-hostile participants. This held true both for those giving social support and those receiving it.

This highlights not only the importance of having good listening skills--being a poor listener can actually make a loved one who's baring their soul feel worse rather than better--but of working hard to foster strong, trusting relationships with the people who are close to us, so we can give and receive social support in ways that are good for everyone. The following are some resources that can help.

Relationship Resources from Elizabeth Scott:

• Listening Skills 101
• Communication Skills
• 10 Conflict Resolution Mistakes to Avoid

_{Source:
Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TW, Uchino BN. Can Hostility Interfere with the Health Benefits of Giving and Receiving Social Support? The Impact of Cynical Hostility on Cardiovascular Reactivity During Social Support Interactions Among Friends. Annals of Behavioral Medicine. June 27, 2008.}