I frequently get questions from readers, and sometimes I add them to the FAQs section. Here's the latest:
"Sometimes when I have conflicts with people in my life, I find myself replaying conversations in my mind, thinking about what was said and what I'd like to say, imagining hypothetical situations in my head, talking to friends about it over and over and generally making myself miserable. Is this ultimately helpful, and if not, how can I stop?"
This is a common question because many, many people experience rumination, and it is generally stressful. We may start by trying to solve a problem, and end up focusing so much on the problem that we miss finding solutions, and we cause additional stress by stewing in anger. It can be a slippery slope. Here is what you can do to feel better, without getting trapped in our stressful thoughts:
Read About How To Clear Your Mind
Read More Frequently Asked Questions About Stress
Quizzes | Ongoing Resources
I too do the same thing. I by nature am a peace keeper in most conflicts but here lately i find I’ve become more of a angry person and is getting worse. In most cases predominately at work once i have disagreed with my coworker i fantasize about what I would have like to have done, what I should have done, and what I could have said for hours and even at times thinking about it so deeply that i begin to mouth the words I’m thinking. Ultimately it helps me cope with the stress by taking out the frustration on the person in my mind instead of in reality. Hope this helps.