Health

Moms and Stress

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com GuideMarch 24, 2012

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A while back, I saw a show on Oprah about moms and stress--the stuff that we don't usually talk about. The point was that motherhood brings a lot of stresses that people don't necessarily expect--the uncertainty of always having someone with you who doesn't necessarily follow polite social rules like 'no screaming in public', the all-consuming nature of having someone need you all day and all night, or the enormity of knowing that mistakes you make may affect them for the rest of their lives--and the fact that most people don't talk about this. Many moms, it was found, thinks that 'everyone else' is doing things perfectly, and they're the only ones who feel like they're making mistakes or having a difficult time.

This show was really wonderful for several reasons. It helps mothers realize that they're not alone if they feel this way, and that it doesn't mean they don't love their kids. (One of them said something along the lines of, 'it's easy to love my children; it's motherhood itself that isn't always easy!') Realizing that 'everyone else' isn't doing a perfect job, either, and that doing the best we can is okay, can help many moms who feel inadequate or are getting caught in the trap of perfectionism. And bringing all of this into the open can help moms feel less competitive and more supportive with each other, which is good for everybody! I wish they'd done this show when my children were babies, as I had more stresses and challenges then than I wish I'd had.

I loved the dialogue so much that I created a new page on this site for moms to share their stresses. It's not about complaining, but more about sharing what stresses you face, reading what others face, and seeing that you're not alone. It's about support. And it's about time for you to add to the list, if you're a mom! (Wink!)