The Different Types of Social Support

Social support comes in several categories; learn the best way to support a loved one, and you'll both feel less stress!.

When you're struggling and feel like you're drowning in stress, different types of support can help you deal. You might reach for the phone to call a friend when you've had a bad day at work. Or you might search online to find ideas for how to deal with your problem.

These different types of support can have different effects, however. A long talk with an empathic friend feels different from a talk with someone who has plenty of advice to offer, and those types of social support feel different from the type of support a coach or therapist might offer.

Is there a best type of social support? And how do the different types of social support affect us?

At a Glance

Social support can come in many forms. Sometimes we need someone to show us care and compassion, while other times we need someone to hype us up. At other times, we need advice or a person who can take action and literally help us with something with can't do on our own. Knowing you have the support of others and having people you can count on can help shield you from stress and protect your emotional and physical well-being.

Four Types of Social Support

While there are many different ways that people can support one another, much research has been done on the effects of four distinct types of social support:

Emotional Support

This type of support often involves physical or emotional comfort such as hugs or pats on the back, as well as listening and empathizing. With emotional support, a friend or spouse might give you a big hug and listen to your problems, letting you know that they’ve felt the same way, too.

Examples of emotional support can include:

  • Listening without judgment
  • Acknowledging and validating someone's emotions
  • Providing words of comfort and reassurance
  • Being physically present with someone
  • Offering physical contact such as hugs
  • Checking in with someone to show that you care

Emotional support is important when you are dealing with a tough situation and need someone to help you feel less alone.

Sometimes, what you really need is a friendly, compassionate person to talk to and validate what you are feeling. They don't need to offer advice or try to solve your problems—they just need to listen and let you know that they care.

Esteem Support

This type of social support is shown in expressions of confidence or encouragement. Someone offering esteem support might point out the strengths you’re forgetting or just let you know that they believe in you. Other examples of esteem support include:

  • Providing affirmations to boost someone's confidence
  • Giving compliments
  • Acknowledging and recognizing someone's accomplishments
  • Celebrating successes
  • Encouragement
  • Reminding people about their strengths
  • Challenging negative self-talk
  • Being someone's cheerleader

Life coaches and many therapists offer this type of support to let their clients know that they believe in them; this often leads to clients believing in themselves more.

Informational Support

Those offering informational support do so in the form of advice-giving or in gathering and sharing information that can help people know of potential next steps that may work well. Examples of informational support include:

  • Offering facts or other relevant information
  • Providing guidance on how to solve a problem
  • Teaching someone about a topic
  • Directing someone to a resource that can help them
  • Giving step-by-step instructions
  • Giving financial, legal, health, or career advice
  • Describing your lived-experience to help someone better understand your perspective

Such support can help us feel less anxious when dealing with a problem. It also helps us make better decisions.

Tangible Support

Tangible support, also known as instrumental support, includes taking on responsibilities for someone else so they can deal with a problem. It can also involve taking an active stance to help someone manage a problem they’re experiencing. Examples of tangible support include:

  • Lending someone money
  • Loaning someone your car or offering to drive them somewhere
  • Doing chores or housework for another person who needs help
  • Taking meals to someone when they are sick
  • Providing childcare, such as babysitting or helping with school pick-ups and drop-offs
  • Running errands or doing other tasks like mailing packages or picking up prescriptions
  • Helping someone move

Someone who offers you tangible support may bring you dinner when you’re sick, help you brainstorm solutions (rather than telling you what you should do, as with informational support), or actively help in other ways to deal with the problem at hand.

Which Types of Support Work Best?

All of these types of social support 'work,' but not with everybody, and not in the same ways. Different people have preferences for a certain type or a combination of a few types of social support.

It’s important to note, however, that the wrong type of support can actually have a detrimental effect, so it helps to know what type of social support is needed in each situation.

For example, giving someone information when what they really need is someone to just listen can feel invalidating and intrusive to many people. And solving someone's problems for them can help them avoid stress, but may end up making their anxiety worse in the long run.

The Right and Wrong Social Support Can Affect Relationships

Getting more emotional support than you think you need isn't a bad thing. People who get lots of emotional support are more satisfied with their relationships than those who get less. 

Informational support (usually in the form of unsolicited advice) appears to be a bit trickier.

In one study, too little informational support was linked to worse mood among husbands in one study. While higher levels of informational support were associated with greater relationship satisfaction among wives, too much of this type of support was also linked to more symptoms of depression.

Generally speaking, research suggests that it's vital to get the type of support you want when you want it. You can make this more likely by knowing how to ask for help when you need it (and being clear about the type of help you need). And don't forget to pay attention to your partner's signals so that you can better respond in the ways that they need. 

The Wrong Types of Support Can Create More Stress

Getting the wrong type of support, particularly when you haven't asked for it, can actually make it more difficult to cope. For example, one 2019 study looked at how people with inflammatory bowel disease responded to social support. Having the support of others can be important for people who are facing chronic illness and can help create a sort of buffer against stress.

However, the study found that people were more likely to see support negatively if it was something that made them feel overwhelmed or if it came in the form of advice they hadn't requested. 

In such cases, social support can turn into a negative experience that can actually worsen health and lead to greater social isolation. 

This effect doesn't just happen in face-to-face interactions, it can also happen online as well. For example, getting unsolicited advice from online commenters can make you feel worse than you did before.

Lack of Support Is a Common Problem for Many People

Unfortunately, too little support is more common than too much. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that many people report getting the support they need when they need it. In one national health survey, 77.5% of U.S. adults say they usually or always get the type of support they need.

However, lack of support is still a common problem for far too many people. Specific populations are also at a higher risk of not getting needed types of social support, including unpartnered, BIPOC, and disabled adults. 

How to Get More Social Support

While many people report getting support, there may be times when you feel like you need more (or maybe a different type) of support than what you are getting. So what can you do to help ensure that there are people who have your back when you need them?

  • Ask for help: When you are struggling, don't be afraid to reach out to someone in your life. Think about what you need at the moment. Do you need someone to listen? Are you looking for advice? Or do you need someone who can lend a helping hand? Once you figure out what you're looking for, consider the people you know who might best suit those roles. It might be a friend, teacher, mentor, or even a mental health professional.
  • Be specific: When you ask, setting the stage by being specific about what type of support you are looking for can be helpful. If you call up a friend, for example, you might start the conversation by saying something like, "I just need to vent—do you have a little time to listen?"
  • Expand your social circle: If you have support needs that aren't being met, explore some different ways to branch out and build a more robust social network. This might involve getting involved in a hobby, joining a club or sports team, or volunteering for something you care about. Social media sites and online apps can also be a great way to meet like-minded people who are also looking for new friendships. Meetup and Blumble are two you might try, but building stronger bonds with your existing online friends can also be helpful.

Don’t assume that you know what type of support your spouse, friends or relatives crave; it’s always best to check-in with people to see if the support you’re offering is hitting the mark.

It's important to open up a discussion to see what types of social support are needed here. And be aware of what types of support feel the best for you, so you can communicate this to your loved ones as well. It’s not fair to expect people to read your mind when it comes to social support—and it’s not effective either. Just ask for what you need.

7 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Ko HC, Wang LL, Xu YT. Understanding the different types of social support offered by audience to A-list diary-like and informative bloggers. Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2013;16(3):194-9. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0297

  2. Morelli SA, Lee IA, Arnn ME, Zaki J. Emotional and instrumental support provision interact to predict well-beingEmotion. 2015;15(4):484–493. doi:10.1037/emo0000084

  3. Ko HC, Wang LL, Xu YT. Understanding the different types of social support offered by audience to A-list diary-like and informative bloggersCyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2013;16(3):194–199. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0297

  4. Morelli SA, Lee IA, Arnn ME, Zaki J. Emotional and instrumental support provision interact to predict well-beingEmotion. 2015;15(4):484–493. doi:10.1037/emo0000084

  5. Lorenzo JM, Barry RA, Khalifian CE. More or less: Newlyweds' preferred and received social support, affect, and relationship satisfactionJ Fam Psychol. 2018;32(7):860-872. doi:10.1037/fam0000440

  6. Palant A, Himmel W. Are there also negative effects of social support? A qualitative study of patients with inflammatory bowel disease. BMJ Open. 2019;9(1):e022642. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2018-022642

  7. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Perceived social and emotional support among adults: United States, July-December 2020.

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD
Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.