How to Cope With Emotional Stress

stressed man with head in hands

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We all experience stress, leading to various physical and psychological reactions. It can also affect our emotions. Emotional stress is a strong, negative response that leads to challenging emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, worry, or frustration. 

Emotional stress can be challenging because our ways of dealing with this stress can sometimes backfire. Thinking about a solution or discussing solutions with a good friend—coping behaviors that are often useful and effective in solving problems—can quickly deteriorate into rumination and co-rumination, which are not so helpful.

Rumination can exacerbate your stress levels, so it helps to have healthy strategies for coping with emotional stress and redirecting yourself away from rumination and avoidance coping and more toward emotionally proactive approaches to stress management.​

At a Glance

Emotional stress is a part of life—we all experience it occasionally, whether caused by a difficult breakup, a demanding job, or simply due to everyday challenges. It can feel like a whirlwind of emotions threatening to engulf us. The good news is that you can take steps to regain control. Understanding emotional stress is the first step toward mastering it. 

Symptoms of Emotional Stress

We all experience stress differently. Because of this, symptoms of emotional stress can vary from one person to the next. Recognizing some common signs of emotional stress is an integral part of figuring out how to manage it.

It's important to remember that this type of stress doesn't just impact your emotions. It also affects your physical health, cognitive abilities, and relationships with others. Common symptoms include:

Physical Symptoms

  • Fatigue
  • Lack of energy
  • Problems falling or staying asleep
  • Headaches
  • Gastrointestinal problems
  • Muscle tension

Emotional Symptoms

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Irritability
  • Mood swings
  • Nervousness
  • Rumination
  • Worry

Cognitive Symptoms

Behavioral Symptoms

Causes of Emotional Stress

Relationship stress carries a heavy toll on our emotional lives and creates strong emotional responses. Our relationships greatly impact our lives—for better or for worse.

Healthy relationships can bring good times, but also resources in times of need, added resilience in times of stress, and even increased longevity. However, conflicted relationships and 'frenemies' can make us worse off in our emotional lives, and can even take a toll physically.

Relationships aren't the only cause of emotional stress, however. Financial crises, an unpleasant work environment, or a host of other stressors can cause emotional stress, which sometimes tempts us toward unhealthy coping behaviors to escape the pain, especially when the situations seem hopeless.

Sources of Emotional Stress

Other causes of emotional stress include:

  • Work stress, including worries about performance, job security, burnout, long hours, and poor working conditions
  • Life changes, such as moving, getting married, getting divorced, or having a child
  • Living conditions, such as living in areas where you are faced with a lack of resources
  • Racism and discrimination
  • Poor health habits
  • Lack of access to healthcare
  • Parenting challenges and lack of adequate childcare
  • Unresolved trauma
  • Mental health conditions
  • Chronic health conditions

Perhaps one of the more challenging aspects of coping with emotional stress is the feeling of being unable to change the situation. If we can't change our stress levels by eliminating the stressful situation, we can work on our emotional response to it.

Coping With Emotional Stress

Finding ways to manage emotional stress is critical not just to your mental health, but to your physical health as well. Too much stress is linked to a whole host of serious health consequences, from cardiovascular disease to depression.

Fortunately, while you can't always fix these situations overnight, you can lessen the emotional stress you feel, and the toll this stress takes on you. Here are some exercises you can try to effectively cope with emotional stress.

Label Your Emotions

"One underrated and often overlooked simple strategy to cope with emotional stress is learning how to accurately identify and label your emotional state," explains Lindsey Rae Ackerman, LMFT.

Research shows this to be an effective strategy for increasing individuals' ability to regulate themselves at the moment. Utilizing inner dialogue such as, "I’m feeling overwhelmed with anger right now" can be tremendously supportive in moments of distress.

LINDSEY RAE ACKERMAN, LMFT

This practice, known as affect labeling, has been shown to help reduce the intensity of emotional distress.

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Practice Mindfulness

Nicole Bentley, LCSW, a licensed therapist based in Chicago, recommends engaging in observational mindfulness when you are experiencing emotional distress. 

"Take a few deep breaths to start, then begin to draw your attention to the details of the space you are in. Choose a color and try to identify everything of that color. Notice the smells in your environment, and observe the items around you in great detail. This will help to ground you in the present moment, and reduce feelings of distress," she explains.

When we feel emotional stress, it's also often experienced as physical pain. You may feel a 'heavy' feeling in the chest, an unsettled feeling in the stomach, a dull headache.

It's common to try to escape these feelings, but it can actually be helpful to go deeper into the experience and use mindfulness to really notice where these emotional responses are felt physically.

Some people notice that the pain seems more intense before dissipating, but then they feel the emotional and physical pain is lessened.

Distract Yourself

Common belief used to be that if we didn't express every emotion we felt (or at least the big ones), they would show themselves in other ways. In some ways, this is true. There are benefits to examining our emotional states to learn from what our emotions are trying to tell us, and 'stuffing our emotions' in unhealthy ways can bring other problems.

However, it's also been discovered that distracting oneself from emotional pain with emotionally healthy alternatives—such as a feel-good movie, fun activities with friends, or a satisfying mental challenge—can lessen emotional pain and help us feel better.

Give Yourself a Break

Dealing with emotional stress doesn't have to involve adding more things to you "to do" list. Sometimes, it can be as simple as giving yourself a break.

"My biggest tip is to build 'downtime' into your day—if you need to schedule it to do it, then schedule it! Reframe downtime into something that is productive. Taking time to recharge makes you more productive during your 'on time," says Kelsey M. Latimer, PhD, CEDS-S, BSN/RN.

Block Off Some Time

If you find that emotional stress and rumination creep into your awareness quite a bit, and distraction doesn't work, try scheduling some time—an hour a day, perhaps—where you allow yourself to think about your situation fully and mull over solutions, concoct hypothetical possibilities, replay upsetting exchanges, or whatever you feel the emotional urge to do.

Journaling is a great technique to try here, especially if it's done as both an exploration of your inner emotional world and an exploration of potential solutions. Talk to your friends about the problem, if you'd like. Fully immerse yourself. And then try some healthy distractions.

This technique works well for two reasons. First, if you really have the urge to obsess, this allows you to satisfy that craving in a limited context. Also, you may find yourself more relaxed the rest of the day because you know that there will be a time to focus on your emotional situation; that time is just later.

Another tactic that can help, recommends Shauna Springer, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, involves identifying the things within your control.

"Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. In the left column, identify all the things that are not under your control. In the right column, identify specific things you can do to exert some control and then identify one or two things from the right column to take action on," she explains.

This is a powerful antidote to feeling helpless and out of control when emotional stress hits.

SHAUNA SPRINGER, PHD

Practice Meditation

Meditation is very helpful for dealing with a variety of stressors, and emotional stress is definitely in the category of stressors that meditation helps with. It allows you to take a break from rumination by actively redirecting your thoughts, and provides practice in choosing thoughts, which can help eliminate some emotional stress in the long term.

Try Deep Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing can also be a highly effective way to manage feelings of anxiety and calm your body in times of stress.

Alex Anderson-Kahl, EdS, NCSP, a nationally certified school psychologist, recommends using breathing techniques to help soothe emotional distress.  

In one technique known as ebb and flow, you visualize yourself by the ocean's shore. As you breathe in, you imagine the waves rolling in and bringing a sense of calm. You envision the waves carrying away your stress and anxiety as you exhale. 

"By tapping into these vivid landscapes, you can create a mental sanctuary, offering a refreshing escape from the daily grind. These techniques will allow you to relax, transport yourself, find tranquility," Anderson-Kahl explains.

How to Get Help for Emotional Stress

If you find your level of emotional stress interfering with your daily activities or threatening your well-being in other ways, you may consider seeing a therapist for help working through emotional issues. 

Whatever the cause of your emotional stress, you can work toward lessening and managing it and feeling better in the process without losing the 'messages' that your emotions are bringing you.

Your therapist can work with you to identify what's causing your emotional stress and develop healthier ways of coping. Understanding the sources of your stress may also help you discover ways to eliminate the problem, or at least lessen it's impact on your life.

How to Build Greater Resilience to Emotional Stress

Caring for your mind and your body can also play a protective role, making you more resilient in the face of emotional stress. Some things that you can do to help ensure that you are taking the best possible care of yourself include:

Getting Enough Sleep

The rest that you get each night can have a significant impact on your mental well-being. When you get enough sleep, the stressful things you experience during the day may seem less daunting. Of course, being under stress makes it much more challenging to get enough sleep each night, especially if you find yourself lying away worrying.

Some things that might help improve your sleep include making sure your bedroom is a cozy, comfy sleep sanctuary and creating a nightly bedtime routine that leaves you ready to drift off as soon as your head hits the pillow.

Try are a warm bath, a cup of chamomile tea, and a peaceful meditation before you lie down.

Move Your Body

There's a growing body of research demonstrating just how important exercise is to your mental well-being. In addition to combatting symptoms of depression and anxiety, getting your heart pumping and your body moving can also leave you better equipped to deal with emotional stress.

Hitting the gym is an option if that's something that works for you, but any type of moderate-intensity exercise will work. Consider activities you enjoy, like cycling, jogging, walking, gardening, skating, hiking, or rowing. 

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggests getting 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise and two days of muscle-strengthening activity each week.

Get Support From Friends and Family

Social connections are vital for mental health and managing emotional stress. When you start to feel overwhelmed, reach out to friends and family members who can help.

Evidence suggests that social support can reduce psychological distress and help create a buffer against the health-damaging effects of stress.

When we feel stressed out, having support from other people can help build us up. We feel stronger and better able to deal with the challenges we're facing. Plus, we know we have someone to turn to for comfort and validation.

Practice Self-Compassion

Treating yourself with kindness can also play a role in building greater resilience to emotional stress.

"When you’re experiencing emotional stress, imagine what kind, soothing words you would offer a close friend in the same circumstance. Now imagine saying that to yourself and send the same warmth, understanding, and compassion in your direction," suggests Alison McKleroy, LMFT.

If you or a loved one are struggling with stress, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

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Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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By Elizabeth Scott, PhD
Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.