What Makes You Happy?

A reader recently asked me what I thought the key ingredients to happiness were. This is a great, meaty question that people have been wondering for ages. Happiness is more than just the absence of stress, though the two can be related. Philosophers have commented that the very act of chasing happiness as an end can make it more elusive, or that noticing when you're happy can sometimes disrupt the flow of what was making you happy in the first place. Though the question has been examined for quite a while now, a clear consensus hasn't begun to emerge until recently. Fortunately for those happiness-seekers out there (and doesn't that include all of us?), researchers have finally begun to really explore what makes people happy, so we can know what choices to make in our lives. One thing that's been striking to me is that many of the things found to promote happiness are things that have also been found to relieve stress. Here are a few:

Gratitude
Happiness in life is linked to the comparisons we make. If you're always comparing what you have to the holdings of those who have more, you'll feel lacking; if you compare yourself to those less fortunate, you'll have a sense of abundance. Being grateful for what you have can definitely promote happiness, and it can also relieve stress. If you focus on how things could be better--how things should be better, you will likely have a much more intense experience of stress when facing challenges in your daily life. These challenges could be experienced as less stressful if you focused on how much more challenging they could be, comparing yourself to those who have it harder than you.

Cultivating Relationships
Happy people tend to have strong relationships and a sense of belonging to a group. Close friends and family can share in your joy and help you shoulder the burden of sorrow. They also help with stress relief, offering a supportive ear when you need one, or practical support when you need a helping hand. (They also offer the opportunity to return the favor, which is good for all of us.) Investing in close relationships with friends and family, and weeding out the 'toxic people', pays off in the long run.

And Several Other Things
Here's a list of several other factors that play into both happiness and stress relief. Each item on the list will lead you to a further explanation of how it relieves stress and promotes happiness, so you can skim the list as a whole, and decide how much you want to know about each item. Enjoy!

More Happiness Resources from Elizabeth Scott:

How To Be Happy in 5 Simple Steps

Quiz: How Happy Are You?

Shortcuts to Happiness

I'd like to hear from YOU! What makes you happy? What relieves your stress? Are they the same things? Post your answers in the comments, or in the Stress Management Forum.

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