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I just saw a very interesting piece from CBS News (embedded above) that tells of a project that one very optimistic and enterprising soul named Colette Hiller decided to take on: scattering 30 pianos in random public places around London. Their puropse? To inspire impromptu public sing-alongs among strangers. The goal? To foster goodwill and social bonding among the people in the city, who may need a pick-me-up because of the recession and other real-world stressors.

It may sound like a lot of work and expense to procure 30 pianos, secure them in various locations, and protect them from the weather, all while complying with city ordinances and filing appropriate paperwork. It was. But the effect seems to be a great success: people around the city, people who otherwise tend to keep to themselves, shared music and goodwill, and found their days becoming a little brighter.

I'm sharing this story with you because it makes me smile, and because we can learn something from this project, even if we don't have real-life access to ransom public pianos:

1. Music really can be a pick-me-up, and can brighten your day. (Read more about the benefits of music.)

2. Feeling connected to others can also brighten your day. It's worth going outside of yourself to connect with others, even if they're strangers. (Read more about the reasons to smile at others.)

3. The 'Random Acts of Kindness' movement is still alive, and still bringing happiness to people. It's worth going through some effort to bring extra happiness to someone's day--that can bring happiness to yours as well! (Read more about the benefits of altruism.)

4. Happiness is contagious. (Read about shortcuts to happiness.)

Obviously, scattering a bunch of free pianos around town is a serious undertaking, and is a rare enough act to make international news. However, kind acts are performed every day, by all types of people, and they count, too. What nice things have you done to help others? What nice things have others done to put a smile on your face? Share your 'Acts of Kindness' stories here in the comments--you'll make many people smile!

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I've been trying out more and more iPhone applications lately. This is partly because I have one of the new iPhone 3Gs, and love using it, and partly because I just keep discovering really great iPhone apps.

One that I'd like to bring to your attention is the Live Happy iPhone application. I love it because it brings together several things that I have found to be useful for cultivating optimism, gratitude, resilience and a strong social circle, among other things. And I really love it because it helps you take action in different areas in your life, and create habits that promote these good things. It also supplies some nice research on positive psychology.

Here's a more detailed review of the Live Happy iPhone Application. You'll find more details about the app, as well as an opportunity to add your own review, if you've experienced the application yourself! (What do you like about it? What don't you like? What do other readers think?)

I'd also like to hear about your favorite iPhone applications for stress relief. What are they? How have they helped you? Read what others recommend, and add your best recommendations!

Finally, for those who don't have iPhones, here are some happiness-promoting resources you can use--for free, of course!--from this site. Enjoy, and make today the beginning of the happiest, most satisfying phase of your life yet.

Happiness Resources from Elizabeth Scott:

• Stress Relievers for Happiness

• Shortcuts To Happiness

• Secrets of Happy People

• Positive Psychology: What Is It?
  

• Quiz: How Happy Are You?

• Positive Psychology and Happiness

• Having What You Want

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Some questions come up for many people--they're frequently asked. Below is a link to dozens of commonly-wondered, oft-uttered questions, and answers, along with links to resources.

Stress FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions About Stress

Sample Stress FAQs:

"I'm Overwhelmed By Stress. How Can I Even Begin To Better Manage It?"
Many people feel overwhelmed by stress and don't know where to begin in leading healthier lives. Too often, stress affects health and leads to unhealthy behaviors and a downward spiral of more and more stress. This article on stress management basics can show you how to feel better right now, and give you a clear path to a healthier lifestyle.

How Can I Deal With A Difficult Co-Worker?
According to a recent job stress poll on this site, about three in four of us deal with at least one difficult co-worker at our jobs. These people can cause weekly--or sometimes even daily--stress. Find out how to handle difficult coworkers to reduce job stress and feel more at peace when you're at work.

How Can I Keep Stress From Interfering With My Sleep?
Attaining quality sleep is very important to your physical and emotional health, as well as your personal productivity, for many reasons. Unfortunately, many people find that stress affects their sleep. This article explains how, and provides useful information and resources to help you reduce stress and get more quality sleep right away.

I'd like to hear your answers, too! Here's a selection of articles that are comprised almost entirely of responses from the other stress experts on this site: you guys, the readers! See what other readers have to say, and add your best words of wisdom!

Reader Response Articles

Is there a question you'd love to see answered, but don't see it in these lists? Something else on your mind? Write it in the comments!

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A few years back, the Law of Attraction was brought into mainstream awareness when Oprah showcased the popular book, The Secret. Suddenly, many people realized, as they had never grasped before, that they had more of a hand in creating their own reality--their stressors, their circumstances, their 'lucky breaks'--by how they habitually focused their attention. (Those who study optimism, practice positive affirmations, or keep gratitude journals knew this already.)

Now that the idea has had a chance to take hold and sink in, I see many people on Twitter who are using the Law of Attraction in their own lives, and discussing its effects. Are you one of them? What do you think of the Law of Attraction? And how has it worked in your life?

Share your thoughts on attraction in the comments section, or share your stories about the effects of the Law Of Attraction in this Reader Response article on attraction.

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Sometimes, even if you've been working at utilizing stress management techniques for a while, it helps to get a basic overview of what stress is, where it comes from, and what works best in the way of stress management. This is true for many reasons: sometimes we get stuck with one or two techniques that we use in every situation, and we may miss out on other, more appropriate strategies; there may be simple changes that can bring big results--like a shift in attitude--to learn about; a better understanding of stress and stress management may lead to a better understanding of how to lead a less-stressed lifestyle. (You may be surprised by what you didn't realize!)

This has been true for me. I've been studying stress and stress management since my first year in college (and unofficially since high school, or even middle school!), and have built up a nice arsenal of techniques on top of a pretty solid understanding of things like the stress response, stress-invoking cognitive distortions, and other topics that relate to stress, which has helped me relieve stress in my life. However, I'll periodically learn a new piece of information, or begin practicing a new technique, that seems to 'change everything', and deepen my understanding of stress and ability to relieve it, even further.

Here is some basic information about stress, with links to additional resources you can use to deepen your understanding and practice of stress management.

Stress Management Basics

• What Is Stress?
  We hear the term 'stress' being thrown around so often, we may not realize that people mean different things when they're discussing stress. Just what is stress, and what do people mean by the term? Learn the basics of stress, and find a simple but effective 'game plan' you can use with virtually all the stressors you face.

• Relaxation Tips
  Relaxation is sometimes seen as a luxury, but in fact, regular relaxation and stress management are important for physical and emotional health. Learn the main reasons for this, and find strategies that work well for you!

• 10 Things To Know About The Effects of Stress
  What's the role of attitude on your stress levels? How much does stress affect your health? How preventable is stress? Learn the answers to these questions and more.

What about you? What are some stress relief techniques or bits of information that have really deepened your understanding or practice of stress management? Leave them in the comments, so others can benefit, too!

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Did you know that June is 'National Smile Month'? I almost didn't either! (Since June is almost over, you may have to let your smiling spill into July...and August!) I've already talked about the importance of celebrating the smile (National Smile Day was back in October), as well as the fact that any day can be the perfect day to smile, so I'll let you read that blog here.

Today, I'd like to tell you about some more reasons to smile--they're being studied right now by researchers in a new-ish branch of psychology known as Positive Psychology. The research being done now in Positive Psychology is good news because now therapists, counselors, and coaches (not to mention writers) have more information on what makes people thrive, and more tools for helping their clients (and readers) do just that.

Read more about Positive Psychology now, and see what new habits can bring positive results into your life.

More Positive Psychology Resources

• Quiz: How Happy Are You?

• Positive Psychology and Happiness

• Having What You Want

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Like most people, I was stunned this week to hear that Michael Jackson had died. I was a fan of his music starting in childhood and, although I wasn't sure what to think about his personal life, I had always held out hope that he would be able to turn things around for himself and go back to creating amazing music.

Seeing the outpouring of admiration and appreciation for him in his death, I can't help but think about how sad it is that he didn't see much of this in his life. It's sad because it's all too common--so many people don't feel loved and appreciated (even when they are), and even more of us forget to tell the ones we love how much we love and appreciate them on a regular basis.

Because social support and gratitude bring so many positive benefits for longevity and emotional--as well as physical--health, it's important to remember to tell the people in our lives how much we appreciate them. This is something people say periodically, but really putting it into practice means making a habit of noticing and telling people--not just our spouses or children, but friends, extended family and even mere acquaintances--what a positive impact they have on our lives.

I try to make it a point to do this in my daily life, but this week, I'm going to be especially aware of the difference others make in my life, and tell them about it. What about you?

More Resources From Elizabeth Scott

• The Link Between Gratitude and Happiness

• Maintain a Gratitude Journal

• Develop Emotional Resilience

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Last night, it was announced that Jon and Kate, of 'Jon and Kate Plus 8' fame, have decided to call it quits. (If you aren't familiar with the show, here's some background.) Whether or not you've watched the show, chances are you're sick of hearing about these two, and are perhaps even wondering why their lives are considered newsworthy. (I share those sentiments, to a degree.) However, I'm bringing them up because they illuminate an issue that's faced by many, many families--an issue that deserves to be addressed.

Although I'm not an avid watcher of the show (I've only seen bits and pieces before tonight), I've seen enough of their dynamic to see some major themes in their relationship. Here's what I think.

The main issue here is marital stress. Virtually every marriage faces its challenges, hence the widespread conclusion that a healthy marriage includes hard work. Just like with individual stress, what can make or break a marriage is the attitude that the couple adopts while dealing with one another and managing their stressors together. Do they have a sense of humor as they approach their obstacles? A sense of optimism? Do they offer support to one another, or do they tear each other down during tough times?

And, most telling, do they use healthy communication techniques, and treat one another with respect? This is key. Several years ago, researcher John Gottman and his team discovered that they could predict (with a high degree of accuracy) which newlywed couples would stay together and which would go on to divorce, simply by observing a few minutes of their interactions with one another! What they noticed was contempt: did one or both partners treat each other with contempt when there was a disagreement, or were they able to respectfully disagree and work out their differences with love? A familiar negative pattern of a doomed relationship was a wife who was overly critical of her husband, and a husband who stonewalled his wife, basically shutting down emotionally. (Not surprisingly, this sounds like Jon and Kate.) These couples did not fare well.

Another factor that I see affecting Jon and Kate is their status as parents. The pressure of raising 8 children within a 3-year age span is enormous, but even one child puts additional pressure on a relationship. (See this article on parents and stress.) The advent of children can change a relationship because it usually alters the roles within the partnership--now couples must navigate completely new obstacles (keeping up with the myriad needs of little ones), which changes the way they are able to relate to one another. Simply put, the level of responsibility and the number of things on which a couple may disagree can skyrocket, while the amount of time they can spend together bonding as a couple diminishes. (For more, see this article on parenting stress.) Add in a television show and the paparazzi, and you have the challenging world of Jon and Kate.

A third factor that I see with Jon and Kate, that I think many couples share, is a lack of hope. Here are some quotes from last night's show:

Jon: "Kate and I have decided to separate. It's just not good for our kids to be arguing in front of our kids."

Kate: "I'm not very fond of the idea, personally. But I know it's necessary because my goal is peace for the kids."

They know that their constant conflict isn't good for them or their children, and they're right. (See this article on the toll of conflict.) But they think that their only two options are to live in an increasingly conflicted marriage, or to divorce, forever giving up on the possibility of an intact, reasonably happy home. They don't see that it might be possible to learn new ways of communicating with one another, to change their expectations within the marriage, and to create a different dynamic that includes time spend together as a couple, mutual respect, and forgiveness. (Yes, I do think it's possible!) Given the stress of divorce, this may be worth fighting for. (I'm not saying that divorce is never appropriate, but in the case of this couple, I think some counseling--if they faced it with real determination to build a better marriage--could potentially bring them the peace their family needs.)

What do you think about the situation that Jon and Kate face? What advice would you give them?

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Americans are finding that money is tight in this recession, and many are discovering that even necessities like healthcare are difficult to afford. A recent study by Thomson Reuters' annual Pulse survey collected data from 100,000 homes found that 25% of those surveyed had difficulty paying for healthcare expenses, with 40% expecting to put off healthcare in the coming months, including routine doctor visits in some cases.

This is a troubling situation, of course. For those who need care, time is often of the essence, and can be a factor in one's health. Additionally, some health conditions can worsen and become more difficult and costly to treat if not caught and treated early. And it's unfortunate that those who those who may need healthcare the most--those who may be experiencing a greater incidence of health issues due in part to financial stress and lowering socioeconomic status--may be at a disadvantage in finding treatment for these health issues, perhaps compounding the issue. (For more on that, read this article on stress and socio-economic status.)

This study also highlights the value of stress management. Because stress has been linked with many health issues (read more about stress and health), stress management can be seen as a tool for preventive health maintenance as well as emotional wellness. Investing time and energy into stress management can potentially prevent or reduce the severity of many health issues that may require care. (Note: This is not to say that it's unnecessary to see a doctor when you are facing symptoms or suspect a health issue; I'm just highlighting the connection between stress and health, and the value of stress management.)

The following resources can help you better understand the link between stress and health, and stay healthy with effective stress management.

Stress and Health Resources by Elizabeth Scott:

• Stress and Your Health
  Read more about the different types of stress you may experience, and some of the symptoms that stress may bring. See what stress can do to your body, and what you can do with your stress.

• Stress and Health Self Test
  How might stress be affecting you? This quick quiz is designed to give you an idea of whether your level of stress may be impacting your health, and to what degree. More importantly, after completing this quick 15-question self test, you'll find information explaining how stress affects health, and important resources for creating a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.

• Chronic Job Stress
  How does chronic job stress affect one's health? Here's an interesting study that links chronic job stress to a cluster of symptoms known as metabolic syndrome. Find out if you're at risk, and what you can do to stay healthy.

• Cortisol, the Stress Hormone
  Find out how cortisol plays a role in your body's stress response and overall health.

• Cortisol, the Stress Hormone
  Find out how cortisol plays a role in your body's stress response and overall health.

• Create a Low-Stress Lifestyle
  Get ongoing support in lowering your stress levels and finding techniques to cope, with this free e-course.

• Stress and Health Quiz
  Rather than assess your stress situation, this quiz tests your knowledge about stress and health. At the end of the quiz, you will find your score along with the correct answers and resources where you can learn more and use this information to become healthier and happier.

_{Sources:
Chandola, T., Brunner, E., Marmot, M. Chronic stress at work and the metabolic syndrome: prospective study. British Medical Journal. January 20, 2006.
Cohen S, Doyle WJ, Baum A. Socioeconomic status is associated with stress hormones. Psychosomatic Medicine. May-June 2006.}


Image from iStockPhoto.com

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If you're a perfectionist and have tried meditation, your internal dialogue may have gone something like this:

"Oh, yeah. I can do this. In fact, I want to be really good at this meditation thing from the very first time....Okay, stop thinking, and just totally clear my mind....Wow, I'm doing great! Oh, wait, now I'm thinking again...Darn, I messed it up!....Just stop thinking, and clear my mind....Oh, now I'm thinking again....Why aren't I better at this?--No, don't beat myself up, that's just making it worse.... ... ....Oh, yes! Now I'm---wait! Now I've messed it up again! I just can't seem to get this...And my To Do list is really long...I should go work on that stuff..."

If this sounds at all familiar, it's okay. This doesn't mean that you're 'bad' at meditation, just that you may need practice approaching meditation in a different way. Because meditation carries so many benefits, it would be a shame to give up on the practice before really giving yourself a chance with it! Here are some meditation tips for perfectionists to help you start fresh and really gain the benefits of meditation.

More Meditation and Perfectionism Resources From Elizabeth Scott:

• Quiz: Are You A Perfectionist?

• Benefits of Meditation

• How To Work Past Perfectionism

Image from iStockPhoto.com

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